Don’t be caught in the following common traps:
• Inability to let to. People often stick with a dead-end job out of pride stubbornness or unwillingness to admit that they made a mistake Sometimes the comfort of the familiar is just too seductive. To start letting go: Take small, safe steps at first. Start talking to friends and associates about possible new jobs. See what’s available during your vacation. Shake things up at the office by suggesting some changes in your current job. Take some courses and learn new skills.
• Lack of self-esteem. This is an enormous stumbling block. But, in fact, you may be judging yourself by excessively high standards.
• Procrastination. Like alcoholism, procrastination is a subtle, insidious disease that numbs the consciousness and destroys self-esteem. Remedy: Catch it early, but not in a harsh, punitive self-blaming way. Look atwhat you’re afraid of, and examine your motives.
• Shyness. If you’re shy. The obvious remedy is to choose an occupation that doesn’t require a lot of public contact. But even shy salespeople have been known to succeed. As long as they’re talking about product lines and business, a familiar spiel can see them through. Concentrate on getting ahead by doing a terrific job rather than by being Mr. or Ms. Charming. Or take a Dale Carnegie course. They are helpful.
• Unwillingness to look at yourself. If you’re not willing to assess yourself honestly, success will probably forever elude you. People tend to avoid self-assessment because they feel they must be really hard on themselves. Realize you’ve probably taken the enemy into your own head-you’ve internalized that harsh, critical parent or teacher from your childhood. Instead, evaluate yourself as you would someone you love, like a good friend whom you’d be inclined to forgive almost anything.
Source: Tom Greening, Ph,D., clinical supervisor of psychology at the University of California at Los Angeles and a partner in Psychological Service Associates, Los Angeles.
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